Modern proverbs - part three

Those contradictory old proverbs. Often helpful. But also often not so helpful. You know.  On the one hand, ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’. But on the other hand, ‘a stitch in time saves nine’. So, take your pick!

And there’s ‘he who hesitates is lost’, which seems at odds with ‘fools rush in’. And ‘the pen is mightier than the sword’ seems to contradict ‘actions speak louder than words’. What’s that all about?

We asked our intrepid correspondents to suggest updated proverbs for modern times. Here is our third selection of their work:

A course of Ozempic ain't over till the fat lady slims

All good things come to those who...

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet

If you can’t stand Greg Wallace, get out of the kitchen

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket if the store detective is watching

A dog is a man's best friend in Norfolk

A little learning is a dangerous thing, but might get you the Presidency

Too many cocks soil the brothel

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if it's the nuclear detonator one James Bond uses.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single click on Expedia.

In the country of the blind, a one-eyed man won't get disability benefit.

PornHub makes work for idle hands.

The grass is always greener in the hydroponic grow house.

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is designated driver.

Contributors: Paul L, Sinnick, sydalg

Image credit: perchance.org