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  • Writer's pictureSully

Nadine Dorries inadvertently talks sense; rift in space-time continuum ‘inevitable’



Earth is bracing itself for an invasion of Daleks and/or Cybermen after Nadine Dorries issued a tweet about the Conservative Party Conference which experts described as “quite sane”.


‘Nadine’s tweet about the country and the Conservative Party being “ . . . a total, utter, chaotic mess” doesn’t have a scientific explanation’, a scientist said. ‘Everything else she tweets is batshit crazy. A sane person can go mad, but for Nadine to suddenly become sane – it’s like separating purple paint back into red and blue. It just doesn’t happen spontaneously. We fear that one of the laws of thermodynamics, you know, the weird one, might have been broken’.


Scientists fear that the sudden lurch into coherence might be a step too far for the universe, resulting in a portal opening up like in a Doctor Who episode, though for balance we should point out that NewsBiscuit gets its scientists from the same agency that GB News uses. They’re quite suggestible if the money’s right.


One possibility is that Dorries was sober when she tweeted about the Conservative Party conference. If so, it raises the intriguing – and heartbreaking – possibility that there’s a real, human, insightful person trapped within that shell – rather like a Dalek or Cyberman, really.


image from pixabay

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1 Comment


bdbdab
Oct 13, 2023

"One possibility is that Dorries was sober when she tweeted about the Conservative Party conference"

Hmm, far more likely she was out of her skull when she tweeted about the Conservative Party conference and thought she was commenting about Labour. Daft scouse tart.

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