Netflix to launch Deathflix live execution channel
Netflix has signed a deal with the US government to broadcast all future executions live on a dedicated new channel to be called Deathflix. The executions will take place during Super Bowl weekend to maximise advertising revenue.
“Me and ‘pistol’ Pete [Pete Hegseth, Donald Trump’s Secretary of Carnage] have been discussing this for some time,” President Trump said, “and it’s going be beautiful, really beautiful.”
The first execution will be of former US Army Major Nidal Hasan who is scheduled to be executed by firing squad on 3 December, in time for the selling of execution merch’ in the all-important runup to Christmas.
Meanwhile, Christa Pike, the Tennessee woman who survived death by lethal action, has been declared a saint by Pope Leo and is due to join the Pope on the balcony in St Peter’s Square once he is out of hospital for the removal of traces of disbelief from one of his lungs.
image by Grok
Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here
