Nigel Farage is the new 'Secret' Traitor

The BBC's hit show The Traitors is to cast Nigel Farage as the new Secret Traitor in the upcoming series. 

A BBC spokesperson said 'The BBC unreservedly apologises for... oh... sorry... force of habit. I mean we at the BBC are pleased to announce that we have added Future Fuhrer Farage to ratings smash The Traitors. Not only is Farage a natural Traitor, it also means we can meet our principles of political balance by having Nigel Farage on every single programme.' 

Farage was overheard complaining of 'Typical left-wing BBC bias. I'm not on Women's Hour or the Shipping Forecast yet. German Bight? German Fright more like. Now I have to go to Scotland, which I find disgusting as it's not part of Farage's Britain. Maybe they could film at Mar a Lago instead?'

'Vladimir Putin does like buying houses though - I wonder if he'll buy me the Traitors Castle.' 

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