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Postman Pat arrested after loading suspicious bags into a van

As the Ford Transit becomes the weapon of choice for every would-be killer or decorator, sadly ‘Vanarama’ is now comparable to an Arms Dealership. Bizarrely we now have a Van Venn diagram of terror, with overlapping figures such as The A Team and Ernie the fastest milkman in the West.

A police spokeswoman said: ‘We’re currently on the lookout for a van driven by four desperate teenagers and a Great Dane – who will stop at nothing for Scooby snacks’.

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