Ringo Starr disowns Yellow Submarine

Updated: 6 days ago



The Beatles drummer Ringo Star issued this statement to press this afternoon about the Beatles’ back catalogue, in particular tracks on which he sang lead vocals:


First of all, we don’t want to hurt the French’s feelings after they got all worked up thinking they were going to build, like, a nuclear submarine that’ll keep them in smelly cheese and fags for a thousand years, and then it turned out they weren’t, so that’s one reason not to sing it. Secondly, we reckon the only reason people live in a submarine in the first place, whatever the colour, is to like nuke everyone from underwater so you don’t see 'em coming, which is dead sneaky, so you don’t need submarines, all you need is love.


And while we’re on the subject I’ve changed my mind, I wouldn’t like to live in an Octopus’s Garden, because octopuses are dead intelligent and they don’t need scouser billionaires ruining their environment, like. They can open a screw top jar from inside, which is more than I can, especially Branston Pickle.


In other news singer Peter Noone has revealed that Hermann’s Hermits weren’t hermits at all ‘because they all went down the pub of a Friday’.


image pixabay/BilliTheCat