Updated: Dec 17, 2021
Abandoning the UK's traffic light travel system, in place since 1868, could put drivers at risk, says the leading motoring organisation.
Under the new rules, motorists won't be required to stop anywhere. It means that fully vaccinated drivers will no longer have to pull over in red list cities such as Birmingham and risk being infected by a virulent local dialect.
Audi drivers such as Nigel Palmer, 43, from Bromley, broadly welcomed the move: 'I'll miss running red lights, of course, but it means we can still carry on not stopping at pelican crossings, even when there are kiddies about, which is great news.'
A government spokesman explained that the old system was not fit for purpose and was in dire need of an overhaul. 'It was a highly confusing system. All that red, red and amber, amber, green nonsense just stopped hard-working people going about their business. It can now go back to Brussels, where it belongs.'
The President of the National Association of Cyclists didn't see what all the fuss was about, simply asking: 'What on earth are traffic lights?'