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Rishi Sunak admits robbing Peter to pay Paul

Because Paul is wealthy and more likely to vote Conservative in the long run, where as Peter is hard up, and only voted for the Tories to teach Jeremy Corbyn a lesson.

'Think of me as a sort of Reverse Robin Hood,' said the former Chancellor as he called his men to a the tavern on the leafy green, for a very agreeable Prosecco and some vol-au-vents.

He continued, 'I wish to be loved by the rich, feared by the poor, obviously not by Liz Truss, Jacob Rees Mogg and his cohort, though.'

The statement has been roundly condemned by the church, Friar Tuck, who prefers 'a good, honest pint, and a ploughman's lunch', slammed his flagon on the table clearly incandescent with rage..

'I actually hate both of them,' admitted the Sheriff of Nottingham, 'So keep me out of this.'


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