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RNLI ignoring fishing quotas, says Farage

Updated: Sep 16, 2022

The ex-UKIPer, face like a kipper, has accused the Royal National Lifeboat Institution of rescuing too many refugees, instead of throwing them back in. A spokeswoman asked: ‘What else is Nigel going to eat with his chip supper, if no dead refugees are available?’

The French and British have long held a maritime agreement that for every cod caught, they have to drop a Syrian child into the sea. Mr. Farage said the actions of the RNLI made a mockery of this, claiming that soon, fish will outnumber drowned migrants.

Explained one migrant, who was really an international drugs warlord: ‘We cunningly take ourselves top the point of death and then sneakily get a lift back to the mainland’. Asked why, if he was an international drug lord, did he not just get a fake passport and pop over on the ferry, he replied: ‘Um…er…’.

The UK Government has agreed to send gunboats to sink the RNLI vessels. To further protect the dwindling stocks, Mr Farage suggested that the UK be flooded, thus removing the land to land on. Claimed the spokeswoman: ‘By being submerged under water, Brexit will be complete’.

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