Vladimir Putin has demanded an investigation into how his country's parliamentary election has been hijacked by ‘entryism’, closest ‘Trotskyists’ and Geography teachers from Islington. So far ‘United Russia’ has secured 54% of votes, with Jeremy Corbyn a narrow second on 47%, just ahead of Owen Smith on 0.0000000001%.
Up until the fall of the Berlin Wall, statues of Corbyn were seen in every Russian city, with a whole chapter in ‘Das Capital’ devoted to allotments and making jam. Said one Moscow Blairite: ‘These Corbynistas keep banging on about socialism. Unilateral disarmament, a national health service? We may be Communists but we’re not hippies!’
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