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Schools get opportunity to help with new covid variants

Updated: Feb 10, 2022

In a surprise move announced this evening by the Education Secretary, next year's GCSE Graphics Design exam will be asking students to design new graphics to represent either the upsilon or phi covid variants, as it's anticipated that by the time they arrive in the UK, there will be a ban on giving the job to Tory doners for a million quid a pic; and in any case, those in the know think kids could do a better job anyway.

Coursework will need to be accompanied by a signed document conferring all copyright of the graphic to the state, or the coursework will deemed ineligible for submission as exam material.

A spokesbeing for the Dept of Education said “This move surprised as too, as we're not used to planning for the future. We're still trying to get round to reading the personally-signed copy of the King James Bible that Michael Gove was kind enough to donate to schools, but every time we see his signature, we swoon and become so transfixed on it, we forget to turn the page.”

Eddie Downwivdakidz, a graphics teacher from Wakefield said “It's a brilliant idea. I've been doodling stuff like this all the time we were in lockdown, while the IT dept were trying to get kids connected to the network, so by the time senior managers come round shitting themselves over our ability to keep up in the league tables, I'll just show them my doodles and wait for them to have me on News at Ten, saying levelling up isn't as difficult as they make out. We've got graphitti in our bogs that can match anything the BBC graphic designers can knock out.”

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