top of page

Shakespeare to remain authentically boring


The Board of Shakespeare's Globe have reassured audiences of their mission to produce shows of 'mind-numbing tweeness', purposely designed to send your average GCSE Literature student into a spiral of self-harming. Renewing their commitment to Shakespearean traditions, all staff will be expected to adhere to a life expectancy of 40, rats as pets and a blanket ban on all actors who menstruate.


On site there will be a bear-baiting pit and the 'Potato Museum of Wonder'. Any artistic director must embody the Renaissance Period - like an Apothecary with typhoid. Said the Board: ‘They must come with a ruff, a small goatee and a pathological distrust of the Spanish navy.’


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?























21 views0 comments

Comments


bottom of page