A campaign has been launched with tens of thousands of Conservative voters asking for Boris Johnson to be included on the Conservative leadership ballot paper. Consequently, Conservative HQ officials have agreed, reluctantly, but in an attempt to provide balance they are including Sir Keir Starmer as well.
'Nobody thinks of him as a Labour guy, anyway,' said one HQ operative, 'and he's less likely to create a problem for the Conservatives than any of the other three clowns. We might have an electable party if he wins,' he added.
Grass roots members are quite excited at being given the chance to elect someone untainted by Johnson's leadership. Mabel from Cleethorpes thinks it is a good idea. 'I don't know much about him, but I'm sure I saw him on the telly challenging Boris. Most of those MPs were too scared to argue with him, so it's good to find someone prepared to argue the toss.
'Plus, I'm sure I read he was up for Brexit too.'
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