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Taylor Swift blasts 'toxic male privilege', as worst band name ever

Having been named as Billboard's woman of the decade, Taylor Swift took the opportunity to slam misogyny in the music industry – not knowing that ‘slam misogyny’ was the funk-fusion of the bass playing of Mark King and the domestic violence of James Brown. She further criticised the ‘patriarchy of time’ (a concept album by ‘Yes’) and ‘a lack of female empowerment’ – a 90’s twelve-inch by Tori Amos.  

Trying to make a serious point about female oppression in pop music, Taylor inadvertently gave Radiohead the idea for the name for their next tour - ‘21st Century Hegemony’.  Meanwhile a call for greater female ‘Omnipotence’, ‘Prestige’ & ‘Liberation’, just sounds like Beyoncé’s next range of perfumes.

Her 15-minute speech reflecting on her struggles and exploitation, was quickly purchased by a private equity group, who plan to use extracts in a series of Coke adverts.  Taylor then lashed out at how she was only being treated as a commodity – which also fits nicely on a t-shirt.

Her spokeswoman said: ‘Men need to hear the serious point Taylor is making and not just see it as another cynical way to monetarize a woman’s pain, which coincidently, Adele already plans to release later this year.’

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