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Toddler savaged by government watchdog

There were calls for changes to The Dangerous Bureaucrats Act last night after a 3-year-old girl was admitted to Great Ormond Street Hospital suffering from wounds inflicted by a government watchdog that had been left free to roam in a London Park.

The toddler, who hasn't been named, suffered a number of sickening injuries which included being bored almost to the point of death by endless pontificating and mindless conjecture.

The mite was also badly mauled in front of a dim-witted tribunal of bumbling members of The House Of Lords who were so pissed on Glenfiddich and Wincarnis they didn't know if they wanted a shit or haircut.

The child's mother, looking visibly distressed, spoke briefly to reporters last night. "It's every parent's worse nightmare to see their baby subjected to an ordeal like this.

'We were thinking of buying her a small quango for Christmas but there's just no way now. She's so traumatised she no longer wants to listen to The Today Programme on Radio 4 and only last night she curled up into a ball and began shaking uncontrollably during the music to Question Time.'

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