top of page

Trump claims to be showered with affection – not Russian urine



Mr. Trump has been seen touting inauguration tickets marked as ‘Bring a friend, because Donald has none’. Sadly, the event has proven to be as popular as marriage counselling with Johnny Depp or a Boko Haram school reunion.


The teetotal Trump will spend his inauguration ensuring not ‘one drop’ of alcohol touches his lips; although he is not normally squeamish about what liquids get splashed around his face. The lonely billionaire is said to be inconsolable – proving money can’t buy you love but it can rent you a Presidency.



www.newsbiscuit.com

If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?


Earth to be Recycled

Five go Dobbing in the Neighbours

15 Years of Typos











15 views0 comments
bottom of page