Trump to run for French Presidency
'Failing Emmanuel Macron has been totally letting down the French people with these riots,' wrote US president Donald Trump on his media site, Truthless Sociopath.
'That's why I am going to change my name to Jean-Con Donald Le Trompe, wear a lurid red beret, and do the job properly,' continued the post, which included an off-putting video of Trump chomping on a hamburger wrapped in a baguette.
'Have you French rioters even thought yet of storming the National Assembly? My supporters stormed the Capitol in Washington and ransacked it for hours, and I pardoned them all afterwards. That's what I mean by doing riots properly.
'And all you French riot police who've been getting grief for firing rubber bullets and hurling grenades at the rioters. I'd let you do what ICE agents do in the US - shoot people out on the streets with high-calibre handguns at point blank range and never get prosecuted.'
'The president is eminently suited for the role,' said a White House spokes-escargot, 'since he eats French fries for breakfast, lunch and dinner and dreams about French kissing every blonde on his staff.
'And the President will be bringing some traditional, wholesome American political values to the degenerate French,' croaked the spokes-grenouille.
At press time, Donald Trump was posting pictures of the Arc de Triomphe in Paris with a vulgar Arc de Trompe built on top of it, vowing to change the name of the Champs Elysee to the Champs Ivanka, and offering every French voter a 5,000 euro election bribe.
Image: ChatGPT
