top of page

UK resumes animal testing having run out of voters to torture

After a 25 year ban, Britain has decided that nothing says animal rights like a vaping rabbit, wearing mascara. Products will no longer be advertised as cruelty-free, but will come with free-cruelty.

A spokesperson explained: 'I wouldn't say it's ethical to have a pitbull wearing lipstick, but it is sexy.'

Previously the only dumb animals forced to wear ridiculous make-up were models. Said one cat: 'I'm 12 and I've already had breast implants and lip filler. I can only assume I'm going to meet Prince Andrew.'

59 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Cornish language ‘back from the dead’

It has been reported that use of the Cornish language has increased significantly in recent years. For those of you who will be working their way down to the end of the A30 for your holidays, here are


bottom of page