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VAR to be introduced for elections


Following a record-breaking(ly stupid) petition calling for Britain’s 2024 general election to be rerun, it has been suggested that all future elections be subject to VAR.


The system, introduced in Premier League football a few years ago, has proved a joy killer, resulting in fans no longer celebrating when their team scores as they know it may be overturned. The nation waits with a sense of impending doom to see the same idea applied to something already as utterly joyless as a general election.


The other complaint about VAR, that it doesn’t really make decisions less subjective because the people reviewing the video footage are also human, may also apply here. For example, it’s been asked exactly what might cause VAR to declare an election result invalid and demand it be rerun.


'Well, for example, if the losing side said the winners had lied and their supporters were stupid to believe them,' said one proponent of the plan, before realising that happens at literally every election (and referendum).


In short, it’s an expensive, poorly thought through distraction from the real issues that will make worse the very problem it claims to solve. So it’s almost certain to be given the go ahead.


'All that remains is to find a company with no relevant experience or technology (but owned by a major party donor) to give the contract to.'


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