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Voters thrilled at prospect of new Sky TV channel 'Watching Paint Dry'

Voters whose brains are in danger of imploding or simply turning to jelly after weeks of exposure to endless non-stop politedium have greeted the proposed new TV channel with ecstasy.

Ecstasy has turned to disenchanted for some however, with comments like 'I'm beginning to realise that one week watching paint drying can be very much like another week watching paint drying.'. Another whispered, 'keep this quiet, but actually, it's pretty difficult to detect any difference between the appearance of paint which is still wet and paint which has dried.'

One viewer admitted to skipping forward through the action (or more accurately, the inaction) to enjoy the sheer relief of the next advertising break. 'Even that got a bit tiresome after a while' the disenchanted viewer admitted 'when I realised that most of the advertisements were for gambling companies trying to persuade viewers to bet on which particular patch of paint is likely to dry first, or whether a specific patch of paint will dry in a certain time.'

'What we really want is something that holds us all completely spellbound, blind and deaf to all else around us' suggested another 'Something like "Celebrity Paint Watch." Who could possibly resist the lure of watching celebrities watching paint dry, with the relentless excitement of wondering how long it might be before one of them completely loses it and goes crazy - or dies of old age.'

A Downing Street spokesman confirmed Rishi Sunak was now able to afford Sky TV. 'You meant buying the whole company, right?'

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