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Warning Children may lose millions of mince pies and carrots over Xmas in scams

The government has issued a warning that children need to be on their guard over the festive period, as scams aimed at gaining mince pies and carrots are launched by parents across the country. This is according to the intelligence agency GCHQ. It says 3 to 12-year-olds are most likely to fall victim.

The National Cyber Security Centre is warning that increasingly sophisticated methods are being used to produce more convincing sooty footprints on old sheets, fake notes from Santa and sleigh bell noises.

Two children who can’t be named for legal reasons, Simon and Samantha Giles of 23, Gloucester Road, Kingston-upon Thames, lost mince pies and carrots after leaving them out last year, believing them to be for Santa and Rudolf. It has now become apparent that the presents they received in return may not have come from the genuine Father Christmas but instead were supplied by Amazon, according their mother’s browsing history. This raises all sorts of questions about just who took a bites out of the carrot and pie, and who drank the two glasses of whiskey left by the fireplace.

The children believe they were tricked into leaving out the items on Christmas Eve, and that their parents may have used "reverse psychology" on them just to get extra pies, carrots and whiskey over the festive period.

"They made us feel guilty for not leaving stuff out... that's what made us feel like we could believe them, because we didn’t want to let Santa and Rudolf down. And what about all the other reindeer? No wonder they wouldn't let Rudolf join in with all their reindeer games if he scoffed all the carrots! Now we think about it, Santa and Rudolf would not have time to stop and eat all the food and drinks left for them in every house, and still deliver presents. What’s more they would both be morbidly obese, and pissed as farts.

'If parents really believe this tosh to be true, no wonder they voted for Brexit, and abided by Covid restrictions.'

Photo by Srikanta H. U on Unsplash

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1 Comment

Dec 15, 2023

Good fun and a great finish (burp).

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