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Work breaks for men contemplating sex

During 1950’s male workers would regularly be given time-off in lieu to visit breweries and brothels for therapeutic treatment. Yet today, discrimination against frisky men is at an all-time high; with employers unsympathetic to men aroused by an overly warm radiator, an intimately suggestive spreadsheet or a post-it-note of side-boob.

Male workers attest to functioning in a daze between the age of 12 until 79, with coherent thought confined only to moments of eating, sleeping or during periods of cold showers. Admitted CEO, as he rubbed against a photocopier: ‘It’s a problem with my glands, one gland specifically. The trouble is, at work I tend to lose focus. I need time off every time I get an erection.  So, basically, every ten minutes.’

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