World's first genetically modified narrowgoat cloned
(Those thinking this is a misprint of narrowboat which would be suitable for migrant Channel crossings have missed an amendment to the Small and Narrow Boats Bill.)
In what is being classified as a breakthrough moment in world history, the first ever narrowgoat has been cloned. Narrowgoats differ from normal goats in only one perceivable way: they have up to 52% less width when viewed from behind. Many in the goat industry feel that this may have been achieved purely for aesthetic reasons relating to modern goat fashions. But those responsible for the project insist that their work has far reaching ramifications.
Goat thinification expert Wilhelm de Jong locked horns to explain, 'The reason the narrowgoat is so important is that they can be transported and stored at much cheaper cost. If you consider the global economy of goats and add up all of that extra saved room, it amounts to trillions of Dollars in savings each year. One narrowgoat will pay for its annual upkeep by the end of February.
'They can also fit through much tighter gaps. The mountain variety of narrowgoat will easily skip through tighter crevices and be able to balance on much slimmer cliff face ledges than goats of standard width.
'But perhaps the greatest step forward relates to the environment. Narrowgoats are much greener because they have such a reduced carbon hoofprint. This is a game changer, and we believe that this advance alone will buy the planet an extra fifteen years before total annihilation.'