Nick Griffin, the leader of the British National Party has admitted that the party is ‘deeply divided’ and ‘in crisis’ following a meeting with members to decide the party’s official policy towards Barbadian pop star Rihanna Fenty.
Former undisputed heavyweight boxing champion of the world Mike Tyson is said to be ‘feeling fine’ after undergoing successful gender reassignment surgery at a clinic near Beverley Hills. Once known as ‘The Baddest Man on the Planet’, the Brooklyn-born boxer told reporters that having his first menstrual cycle ‘would be a dream come true’, and that from now on he would be known as Michelle.
A woman in Braintree, Essex claimed to have seen a Bulgarian lurking in some bushes near a local petrol station, leading to fears of hysterical panic-bigotry among thousands of Daily Express readers.
Children being taught Christianity with the use of the Lego Bible have reported that Jesus has now had the symbolic final meal with his nine disciples, although the occasion was slightly marred by several of them having an arm or leg missing.
‘You do accept that as the youngest child, your parents become slightly more complacent about their children’s achievements,’ commented Dr Ruth Caldwell, who recently broke the Guinness world record for the greatest number of Romanian orphans rescued from a burning building.
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