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BBC ‘a good thing’, say some people who work there
The continuing row over the licence fee escalated today, as the BBC rounded up all the celebrities it has under contract and got them to say how great it is. [read...]
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Hot summer ‘could wipe out Goth population’
‘They are poorly equipped to deal with high temperatures as they can’t take off their black jeans and duffel coats.’ [read...]
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Government to publish league tables on ‘hardest’ schools
‘Often the highest GCSE results come from boys who are soft as shite.’ [read...]
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Woman refuses to give birth in Primark
Despite being wracked with labour pains and hobbled by a small head erupting from her vagina, an unnamed 28-year-old woman from Birmingham has been hailed as a hero for resolutely refusing to be lulled by Primark’s promise of cut-price designer wear and give birth in the shop. [read...]
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Health & Safety noticeboard leaves three hurt, one mildly giddy
Three office workers have been injured after attempting to take in all the information displayed on the Health & Safety noticeboard in their workplace’s canteen.
One of the men, who doesn’t want to be named for fear of having to fill out a form, [read...]