Existence of ‘horses’ finally proved to be a myth
‘All so-called ‘horse-sightings’ easily explained.
Ambulance service outsourced to bus and courier companies
Hailed as ‘another triumph of public-private partnership’, it was announced that NHS ambulance services are to be outsourced to a joint venture initiative between Arriva Bus and NextDay Couriers.
Hollywood to make Chinese Heywood murder movie ‘as soon as someone figures out what the hell went on’
Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Danny Davito and Ewan McGregor are all slated for major roles in a Hollywood blockbuster retelling the story of Neil Heywood’s murder in China, with filming due to start in Pinewood and Chongqing as soon as someone can come up with a suitably implausible script.
Tories caught offside by Labour pledge to win 2010 World Cup
David Cameron was caught off guard at the political leaders’ debate last night as the Labour Party pledged that England would win the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.
Royal Mail to start delivering babies
The Royal Mail has announced today that it is to extend its range of delivery services into the midwifery sector. ‘From next week postmen and women will be delighted to provide ‘home-birthing’ to expectant couples by delivering their newborn child direct to their door at any time between 9am and 3pm,’ said Moya Greene, Chief Executive of the Royal Mail Group.
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