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The news written by you…

Reliance on solar power could lead to wars over sunlight, warns expert

Our reliance on the sun could see the country sucked into unwinnable wars, and sleepwalking into the dark ages

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Edinburgh festival made up ‘to make everyone else feel they’re missing out’

‘It was just a wheeze to get our own back on London.’

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Newspaper hacks celebrate ‘prettiest A level students ever’

‘In our day it was much more difficult to track down an attractive 18-year-old girl with good exam results to stick on the front page.’

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Asda introduces ‘slapping-friendly areas’ for shoppers with small children

won't be beaten on price, service or anything other than aisle 29 Asda is to create ‘slapping areas’ where frustrated parents can hit their children without causing offence to other shoppers.

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Sunderland’s female teenage nightclubbers slate Olympic women’s boxing

‘To call that authentic fighting is shite. There was no spitting or hair pulling, and the words ‘you slag’ weren’t even shouted.’

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