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Post Office queues now measured in eras
A survey published today confirms that the average time you will stand in the queue at the Post Office is 46 minutes and it doesn’t matter how many people are in front of you. [read...]
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Brexit deal ‘makes EU write rules for our benefit’ says May
In a landmark deal struck with the EU, Theresa May has reduced the European Union into a virtual vassal state, she announced today. ‘We no longer need to spend millions creating rules and regulations, the EU will do that for us, [read...]
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Grand Old Duke of York ‘cannot remember 10,000 men, or hill’
‘I do have a recollection of an incline, that is certain’, recalled the Duke of York, speaking to Newsnight about the number of staff he had and how they were deployed. ‘As a member of the royal family we come into daily contact with anything from a gentle slope to a steep escarpment, [read...]
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I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here to be filmed directly from Belmarsh Prison
‘it’s more believable – I mean, the viewers won’t be in any doubt that the celebs actually do want to get the hell out of there.’ [read...]
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Man imprisoned for failing to provide an Amazon review
‘We must have sent him four emails asking for a review, but he just ignored them,’ said an Amazon spokesman today. ‘He hadn’t marked the product as a gift, so there was no reason to not provide a review,’ [read...]