A man who was doing something decided to stop doing it, in favour of doing something else.
Police have busted a criminal gang trying to pass off garden hedgehogs as rare and valuable Australian Echidnas, and selling them to the general public. In a joint operation including commandos from the RSPCA’s black ops unit, the criminals were seized at a car boot sale in Godalming, Surrey, selling the animals for £20 each, along with ‘special Echidna houses’ that looked suspiciously like dustbins for £100 .
David Cameron has today confirmed that plans for plain cigarette packaging will be reinstated, in an attempt to improve the quality of Conservative party policies.
‘Sod the health of the nation,’ he blustered. ‘This is about ensuring that our primary planning tool has the capacity we need.’
The Met Office today reiterated its warning that holding your head up high when you walk through a storm is ‘bad advice’, as Liverpool Football Club faces compensation claims from tens of fans for chapped ears, stinging eyes, and destroyed hairdos.
Royal Mail yesterday denied discrimination after turning down a student for the role of holiday cover postman due to his lack of ‘professional walking experience’.
Mark Pye, studying for an MSc, was left fuming when a 19 year old working for Royal Mail’s recruitment partner told him his CV failed to demonstrated the necessary experience of ‘putting one foot in front of the other whilst holding a bag’.