The news written by you…

Edinburgh hails sculpture of ‘huge pair of bollocks’ Scotland will have England by

A twenty metre bronze sculpture of a pair of English bollocks will be erected in Edinburgh’s George Square a week before the General Election. ‘The Bollocks We’ve Got England By,’ to give the artwork its full title, will show a pair of Union Jack testicles being painfully squeezed by a hand draped in a St Andrews Cross flag.

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UK desperately hoping America loves James Corden

People who own televisions in Great Britain are really hoping that American TV viewers instantly take to James Cordon, so much so that they selfishly keep him Stateside and refuse to sell any show he’s involved with to any non-US broadcasters.

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Have you been mis-sold a ‘freedom from prosecution’ letter?

Following the statement that letters to the IRA providing immunity from prosecution shouldn’t be considered legal, a plethora of call centres have been contacting members of the public offering to obtain compensation.

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Man dismisses amazing totally unlimited broadband/TV/phone package

Leading broadband providers have expressed astonishment today over a Dudley man’s outright rejection of an offer of a fantastic money-saving broadband/TV/phone package.

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Miliband rules out installing third kitchen

Ed Miliband has told the BBC that he will not be installing a third kitchen in his North London home. In an interview with BBC deputy political editor James Landale, Miliband said that he felt that two kitchens was enough for all the cooking he wanted to do.

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