Jack Wilshere has vowed to do everything he can to ensure that he’s fit in time to get injured again in this summer’s World Cup in Brazil. The injury prone Arsenal midfielder told reporters today that he’s confident he will have recovered from the broken bone in his foot in time to come a cropper against Italy on June 14th.
The result of the bidding to be the next country to be invaded by Russia during an Olympics are set to be announced at a glitzy ceremony in St Tropez later today.
The competition hasn’t been as fierce as expected in the race to follow in the footsteps of Poland in 1920, Hungary in 1956, the 1968 event in Czechoslovakia and the more recent hosts Georgia and Ukraine as had been expected.
A cockroach took the stand today to give evidence in the trial of South African athlete Oscar Pistorius. The roach told a hushed courtroom how it lay cowering on the floor under a restaurant table while the defendant wielded a loaded gun, before firing a shot that narrowly missed the insect’s body but took off both of its rear legs.
A 13-year-old Lancashire schoolboy has become the first pupil in the UK to successfully light a Bunsen burner without turning it up too high or too low or attempting to burn his school to the ground.
David Cameron and Barack Obama have today ruled out the possibility of taking any military action in Ukraine, on the grounds that Russia definitely does have Weapons of Mass Destruction. ‘We don’t need to send in Hans Blix to justify anything this time’, explained the Prime Minister.