‘My family are understandably prone to Freudian slips,’ explained Lord Freud, after saying disabled people should be kept in kennels, paid 3p an hour and sent up chimneys to eat soot before being put out of their misery by privatised NHS death squads.
The Duke of York may cease to exist unless the public becomes specifically aware of him, it has emerged. Once second in line to the throne, there’s now ‘more chance of Nick Griffin converting to Islam’ than of King Andrew, say Ladbrokes. And everybody else.
Police have said they are ‘desperately concerned’ for the welfare of UKIP leader Nigel Farage after he was reported missing from the news ten minutes ago.
Yahoo has admitted that the latest high profile security lapse has compromised the personal details of its four remaining users.
Teachers around the country have voted in favour of getting MPs to take a ‘hypocritic oath’ in the hope that it would make them ‘try harder in future’ to keep standards of hypocrisy at a level in line with public expectations.