We have thought long and hard about a fitting tribute, and have decided on a 3.7% price rise from January 2014. Bill payers, as they receive their Spring statements, will remember where they were when they first heard the news of Mandela’s death, and reflect on the small additional price they will be paying in memory of his life’.
The world’s first energy-saving lightbulb, made in 1976, has finally reached its maximum brightness. Switched on 37 years ago, the first 14 years passed without anyone realising it was not emitting any light at all.
The Nonhuman Rights Project is appealing for ‘Tommy’ the chimp to be granted the ‘fundamental right of bodily liberty’, but having ‘looked at Gitmo’ Tommy would prefer to take a ‘rain check’.
Mayor of London Boris Johnson has come out as ‘utterly clueless about pretty much everything’, in an emotional five-minute YouTube video uploaded today.