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US threatens Russia with more sanctions, starting with the export of Disney films

Barrack Obama has stepped up the rhetoric in the dispute with Vladimir Putin over Russia’s actions in Ukraine, confirming that any further threats to Ukrainian sovereignty would lead to drastic action, starting with a full and non-negotiable export ban on Disney films.

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Welsh sheep ‘lack vision’ says damning report

‘The country has too many under-performing breeds content to just stand around in fields all day munching grass. They need to look beyond the farm gate.’

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The Verve accused of peddling inadequate flu-remedy

The songwriter Richard Ashcroft and his band have come under close scrutiny with regards their connection between 90s rock music and the UK stockpiling £473m of Tamiflu in 2006. The Cochrane Collaboration claims the drug had no positive impact on the flu pandemic and there is a growing suspicion that The Verve’s No.1, ‘The Drugs Don’t Work’, was a clear mission statement for future clinical trials.

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‘We’re better prepared for a nasty cold than ever’, says government

‘We’ve all experienced really bad colds,’ said a spokesman, ‘and if someone else you know has got a cold as well, well that’s doubly sad.’

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Nigel Evans MP: ‘Its been 11 months of hell and now my gay friends know I’m a Tory’

‘I’m a very private person and I’ve always tried to keep that side of my life quiet as I don’t see it as being anyone else’s business what I do for a living’.

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