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Queen chooses care home ‘while decorators are in’

Her Majesty the Queen has surprised the Twitter community with a series of tweets commenting on the disruption due to ‘having the decorators in #messeverywhere‘.

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Government confirms that ‘Gove’ is not to be used as a verb

A memorandum sent to all government departments has cautioned against use of the word ‘Gove’ as a verb, such as in the phrase ‘to Gove the department’, ‘the education system’s completely Goved up’ and ‘what the Gove is he doing with freedom of information’.

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Odd job man admits closing Sunderland FC’s transfer window

Harry Penshaw (54) admitted to reporters today that he may have inadvertently painted the transfer window shut when applying a coat of white gloss to Sunderland’s Stadium of Light last summer.

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‘You just try getting 12 months holiday for 9K at Thomson’ say Universities

Universities in the UK have hit back at students in the wake of a report that suggested up to 40% of them didn’t feel they were getting ‘value for money’ on yearly tuition fees.

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Guardian readers to raise profile of sufferers by synchronising their ‘tuts’

36,000 Guardian readers tutted simultaneously this morning in an experiment aimed at waking the government up to the torture of political prisoners in Uzbekistan.

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