PoliticsBiscuit
After two years of debate, the government has decided on Realixit as an “easier and smoother” alternative to Brexit. A courier company was seen unloading the biggest consignment of psychedelic drugs ever seen in Westminster today, [read...]
Workers at B&Q in Tunbridge Wells were stunned yesterday during their tea break by the surprise arrival of two demonic figures: War and Famine. The nervous employees had only just sat down to chew on their ginger nuts when they were treated to an apocalyptic account of the horrors waiting in store for them if the country voted for Brexit. [read...]
Zoo keepers, veterinarians and ‘sandal-wearing libertarians’ were left mourning the loss of the world’s last remaining ‘Greater-spectacled Oakeshott’. The ‘Oakeshott’ had been cared for in the House of Lords’ wildlife refuge since May 2000, [read...]
Ahead of local elections, the Prime Minister insisted that her catalogue of errors was due ‘dirty rhythm’ and ‘funky fever’. Voters should not blame her predicament on the sunshine, the moonlight or the good times (in the early 80s) – they should blame Jeremy Corbyn and Damien Green’s inability to delete his search history. [read...]
Boris Johnson has today tendered his resignation over accusations that he told the truth, clearly and without obfuscation. [read...]
