PoliticsBiscuit
Convicted murderers, sex offenders, and terrorists will be used as ‘live in’ companions to help out retirees under a radical new homestay scheme starting next month.
Every pensioner with a spare room is being urged to sign up for the ‘Adopt-A-Con’ programme with hosts being paid up to £50 a week for each life sentence prisoner they house in return for providing food and board.
Forty-eight year old Colin Taylor of Eastleigh is said to feeling ‘considerably more positive’ about his life, after entering his email address into a small box for an online petition last Tuesday.
The action, which took approximately five seconds, along with another fifteen ‘to check out what it was all about’, is said to have had a significant restorative effect on Mr Taylor’s self-image as a ‘concerned and empowered global citizen.’
Following the success of the UK Independence Party in many local elections where they gained huge numbers of seats, often without candidates setting out what they intend to do about the wide spectrum of issues confronting the electorate, or even turning up, the party insists it has listened to the public and intends to find some really good policies, and pretty damned soon.
UKIP insists that in the finest traditions of British commerce ever since the glorious 1950′s, that of course will mean ignoring the best that the British policy industry can offer and catching the first plane to China to source them at a fraction of the cost.
Nearly six years after being the first Premier to abdicate at a time of his own choosing, Tony Blair has returned to Westminster for a quiet time of reflection hidden from the world, promising not to be a burden on the current incumbent of this most sacred of roles.
The government has signed a mutual assistance treaty with Jordan to ensure that radical cleric Abu Qatada can stay in the UK while 62.64 million British citizens are deported to Jordan, Theresa May has told MPs.
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