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Cameron wins Greece in EU negotiation

'Greece in our time'A rather quizzical British Prime Minister left the Brussels summit last night arm in arm with an equally confused Greek PM, Alexis Tsipras.

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Jeremy Corbyn enters Labour race in an alternate Universe

Labour having to boldly go where no party has gone before to find a new leaderScience fiction and socialism fans alike, have been delighted to discover that in a hypothetical self-contained reality there exists an actual left-wing candidate. The Member of Parliament for Islington North has managed to secure enough nominations to get on the ballot, but only in a parallel universe where there is compassion, collective responsibility and where we are ruled by a race of four-foot high, furry, purple bipeds all named ‘Michael Foot’.

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Cameron returns from Euro break with a dose of the clap

'this is why Europe needs reform, and more sanitary lamposts'A sheepish Prime Minister has returned to Downing Street from his EU ‘whistle-stop’ tour with what can only be described as a bad case of sunstroke and a ‘mysterious rash’.

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EU diplomatic ‘shit list’ drawn up by the Tourism Board, say Kremlin

Grab a bargain now before prices fall!A Russian foreign ministry official has today contradicted reports that a list of ‘banned’ politicians was a result of EU sanctions against Russia. ‘Not at all. It is a simple attempt to support our gentrification process by excluding undesirables who are likely to detract from Russia’s reputation as a lovely place to visit and live.’

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Labour leadership race heats up as candidate displays vital life signs

finger on the ... oh, forget itA so-far tepid Labour leadership race has started to heat up after one of the candidates was found to have a pulse last night.

Medical experts unexpectedly found the vital life sign on Liz Kendall. Her supporters hope this will help bring some much need vigour to her campaign.

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