Alluding to Enoch Powell’s prophetic warning in 1968, the UKIP leader claimed that Britain’s waterways will soon be clogged up with east Europeans on barge holidays. Speaking to supporters, Mr. Farage reportedly referred to ‘the River Tiber foaming with much blood, shopping trollies and regattas of benefit tourists’.
Likewise he spoke of his concern that all the first-class seats on public transport were now reserved for ‘single mothers from Albania’.
‘I told Dave to stop,’ said Vince Cable, ‘but he seemed to be enjoying Nick’s discomfort a little too much. He had this sly little smile on his face. George Osborne was there too, warming his backside against the fire and throwing in snide comments about the Tooth Fairy.’
In yet another concession towards Scottish nationalists, Westminster has announced that from Summer 2015 Holyrood will be able to take control of plot and character development in the version of EastEnders broadcast in Scotland.
The Prime Minister today announced a new raft of measures designed to combat the threat of Britons joining the shadowy extremist group UKIP, including removing the right of those individuals to later return to the Conservative Party.