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Trump shoots himself in the bonespurs



Donald Trump is undergoing emergency surgery in Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland, having shot himself in the bonespurs in his feet.


"This is a common injury amongst Vietnam War draft dodgers like President Trump who suddenly get very brave later in life and start shooting off missiles at Iran," said a Bethesda hospital podiatrist.


"In doing so, they deliver a high velocity bullet at close range right into their goofy, bone-spurred foot.


"They also look like prize chumps because the war they blithely started results in the Strait of Hormuz being blocked and oil prices soaring, crippling the global economy.


"It's a salutary lesson to all overgrown children like Trump," said the podiatrist. "Don't mess around with America's vast arsenal of weapons when you don't know what the hell you're doing."


"Don't talk to me about the Strait of Hormuz," burbled Donald Chump, coming out of sedation.


"No one's in direr straits than me. My straits are the direst there's ever been."



Is this regime change?


As the world watches the US and Israel launch bombs, missiles and snarky text messages at Iran it can't but help wonder - will this bring regime change?


It's a fair question, when you consider that the regime is threatening not only other nations but actively attacks its own population, killing citizens in the street using State sponsored paramilitaries acting above the law while those in charge strip the nation of its immense wealth.


'Yeah, if this doesn't topple Trump, nothing will,' is the popular refrain on the streets. The world can only hope.



Trump warns Iran ‘we haven’t even called on our superheroes yet’


US President Donald Trump has warned Iran that unless they surrender unconditionally to his demands he will start sending American superheroes over to the Gulf to end the war.


Trump said he would not hesitate in sending comic book heroes to finish the war that Iran had definitely started.


White House sources said Superman, Captain America and Wonder Woman could be sent to the Middle East within days and the Fantastic Four and Spider Man would be kept on standby if backup was needed.


Trump said he had regularly seen DC Universe and Marvel Comic heroes fighting for America in the movies and had been impressed by their 100% success rates in thwarting any bad guys who threatened US interests.


Superheroes have kept American citizens safe for over 80 years and their patriotism combined with a sense of citizenship and moral fortitude in protecting the flag would send shock waves across Iran and force the supreme leader to back down.


The president added there were already plans in place for creating a new superhero with special powers to take down Iran’s Revolutionary Guard


MAGA Man’s special powers would include terrorising small children, deporting people with brown skin and the ability to frack for oil using just his bare hands.


‘And if we can get Japan to send Godzilla to intercept Iranian drone missiles and Africa to send King Kong to protect the Strait of Hormuz we could have this war wrapped up in time for a round of golf in the morning’.



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