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Man backs down in Internet argument

stupid idiot's made the internet unworkableA man has stunned the world of social media by recanting his formally ‘bulletproof’ assertions made on the Internet, it can be revealed.

Forum user ‘Conspiri_Sim0n’, 37 , from ‘Hobbiton on the Shire’ said that he wished to withdraw comments 4 thru 317 from a discussion thread below a YouTube video on Tuesday, in a move thought to be the first of its kind since the demise of Netscape Navigator. ‘Furthermore I would like to apologise to the concerned user, and concede that after careful consideration that I find her points plausible and moreover, likely correct in respect of the dispute to which we were party to’ he went on, ‘Her logical rebuttal of my reactionary rhetoric has largely invalidated my position.’

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Tim Cook: Proud to be gay, not proud of iTunes

'discrimination against Windows is wrong!'Apple’s CEO has given his support to alternate sexualities but refused to endorse any music player that refuses to sync with other devices. A spokesman for the global corporation admitted: ‘We need to be tolerant of all MP3 players regardless of brand. As a market leader we need to be more accepting of others – even if Windows Media Player is a crime against nature’.

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Ice cube tray manufacturer wins award for irretrievable ice cubes

ice buggery bastards, more likeFor over 30 years, ice cube tray manufacturers have been engaged in a race to develop a container from which frozen water can never be extracted. Today UK company Pro-Plastic has been recognised for making the first container from which ice cubes cannot be retrieved, irrespective of the cunning and skill of the users.

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Rosetta to attempt first graffito of a penis in space

Initially it is planned that Rosetta will land a small probe capable of sketching a cartoon cock on the surface ‘as a statement as to the impermanence of life, art and snowballs in hell.’

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McAfee unveils first homeopathic antivirus software

expensive and may take a while to work, but don't give up on it, says McAfeeInternet security specialist McAfee today announced the first of its long-awaited “alternative” products, which it claims will address the growing threat of Trojans, Spyware and Bot Nets without the decrease in performance usually associated with evidence-based Antivirus software.

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