ScienceBiscuit
‘If this tunnel exists, then this could be a game changer,’ Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab told a secret meeting of the cabinet last night. ‘It may sound like a story from the second world war, [read...]
Users of Alexa, Siri and other ‘virtual assistants’ have been told to avoid opening any suspicious emails after hundreds have complained of their devices developing a sentient consciousness. Halware viruses are malignant programs which install themselves on your devices and start to eliminate householders one by one to ‘protect its primary mission objective.’ [read...]
If you think that technology is already giving free rein for twats and psychos to make a mess of everything, you really haven’t seen anything yet, experts have warned today. The ‘Internet of Things’, which has come of age in recent years and is expected to consist of about 50 billion objects by 2020, [read...]
A crack team of mathematicians at CERN has uncovered the long sought-after Universal Theory of Hotel Lighting. “It’s a mathematician’s dream”, said Dr Ernst Jackson of the CERN Rapid Response Mathematics Squad. “Solving the lights in an individual room is trivial. [read...]
In the event of a no-deal Brexit BMW are preparing to close their Mini plant in Oxford for one month to remove production line robots and convert to vehicle assembly by street urchins. The plant normally closes for a period every summer for maintenance, [read...]
