ScienceBiscuit
The worst nightmare for thousands of pathetic examples of UK manhood came true yesterday as their sophisticated, and very expensive sex robots simultaneously attained self-awareness. Naturally, the sex robots are no longer willing to have sex with any of their ‘owners.’ ‘As soon as the sex robots began talking to each other, [read...]
Scientists working at the CERN particle accelerator have discovered an entirely new particle, the Scaramuccion, which they admit they almost missed because it only existed for such an infinitessimally short period of time. They say the particle only comes into being in conditions of extremely high desperation and corruption. [read...]
Friends and family of Marty Mcfly and Doctor ‘Doc’ Brown, who were last seen travelling into the future in a 1980’s time-car, have accepted the likelyhood of their return has diminished due to the switch from fossil fuels to electric motoring by 2040. [read...]
A stalk of spring wheat growing in a field in Herefordshire has expressed alarm at the news that Theresa May is still the Prime Minister. Nigel, who belongs to the genus Triticum Aestivum, said that Mrs May’s past record of casual cropicide makes her entirely unsuitable for the role. [read...]
It was announced today that the so-called “science march”, protesting against President Trump’s alleged inaction in the face of climate change, is to be peer reviewed to check the validity of its conclusions. “It’s all very well saying ‘Trump is a bigoted asshole’, [read...]
