NewsBiscuit

The rioting at Wimbledon Theatre moved into its third day yesterday, as physicists attending a pantomime continue to react angrily to a balloon gag that defied the laws of physics. ‘I like a joke as much as the next man, and I’m prepared to suspend disbelief for a night at the theatre,’ said physics lecturer Marek Banasiak, who had treated his students to a night at the theatre. ‘But when you see a man being handed a balloon, filled with air, and he subsequently begins to levitate, that really is beyond the pale of scientific feasibility.’

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German car manufacturer Volkswagen has maintained that the behaviour of Herbie, a white Volkswagen racing Beetle, should not be considered symptomatic of a design flaw. The company maintains that none of their other Beetle’s engage in behaviour like squirting oil or opening their own doors.

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There were dramatic scenes at a Stoke-on-Trent office block today after a 34-year-old accountant threatened to commit social networking suicide by closing his Facebook account.

Colleagues have described how they watched in horror as Derek Short, from Uttoxeter, Staffs, tried to access Suicidr, a controversial website that allows users to delete themselves from social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Myspace.

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Brian Atkins, a 45 year-old telecommunications enginner from Watford, today shocked the internet community by announcing that his ham and pineapple pizza with a garlic bread accompanyment had been delivered to him successfully by Luigi’s Pizza and Kebabs, also from Watford.

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