ScienceBiscuit
Thousands of Facebook users have been left disappointed after a newly-released feature enabling users to view a 90-second clip of their friends’ ‘highlights’ since joining the network has left many facing the realisation that their friends are, in fact, ‘rubbish’.
Years of extensive illegal surveillance of our gaming habits has led to the shock revelation that the public ‘don’t just simply dislike’ hog-kind, but they actively ‘loathe’ all swine and their constant ‘flouting’ of building regulations.
Middle-aged geeks are anticipating another year of broken promises, as the mediocre reality that is 2014 falls short of our vision of cloud cities, time travel and cheese in a can. Despite a decade elapsing since Arthur C. Clarke’s guarantee of alien contact, we are still to see automatic doors that go wooosh, Betamax in HD or a decent tune by One Direction.
A report from the Chinese state news agency Xinhua has confirmed that China’s mission to the moon hasn’t found a single scrap of evidence that Americans were ever there.
Photographs of the lunar surface taken while the ‘Jade Rabbit’ probe was in orbit and further investigations on the ground have now been analysed and show that areas where US landings were thought to have taken place reveal a surface untouched by man, and no sign of any golf activity whatsoever.
The world’s first gun-toting maniac created using 3D printer technology has been unveiled and will be released into the community next week. It will undergo a test-run next Tuesday afternoon when it will be armed to teeth with an arsenal of 3D printer generated weaponry and let loose in a shopping mall.
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