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Disgraced former Chief Executive of the SNP, Peter Murrell, will be represented in court by his lawnmower.

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Hampshire Police are retraining all their dimmest officers in how to spot the victim of a knife attack by giving them innovative finger painting exercises to do.

Now that corgis no longer reside at the Palace, it has been thoughtfully recognised that the requirement to keep their pampering suite nice and toasty may have diminished. Although most of the world is somewhat relieved that King Charles has single-handedly saved the planet, British subjects have been left with an odd feeling. 'Huh. Buckingham Palace has a swimming pool,' said Barbara Brown from Swindon. 'It never crossed my mind all of these years. I've always thought of the

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The Supreme Leader of Iran, Mojtaba Khamenei, is - surprisingly - a devout fan of the British Prime Minister, Keir Starmer.

WINNER I am sensing that you are both Pisces lockjaw RUNNERS UP "Your future looks fishy to me" sirlupus Well, I can definitely see an X, so you're either going to find buried treasure or have a win on the pools robfalconer You're about to get catfished. How do you feel about that? jeremynh Passengers for the Titan submersible Mark II were leaving nothing to chance. Paul L

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Teachers' Unions have issued a new report concerning the latest trend amongst teenage boys adopting extreme and alarming practices to improve or 'Maxx' their own brains.

Next year's BAFTA Film Awards are merging Best Actor in a Leading Role and Best Actress in a Leading Role into one award, honouring Mortal Kombat II.

Platty Joobs has rapidly emerged this week as a contender for the most annoying and ridiculous phrase ever, the shortening of words saving no time and immediately rendering the utterer as a complete tool. But what other phrases are totes annoying? Here at NewsBiscuit we have done the heavy lifting for you and curated some of the best for you. Holibobs Are you a toddler who has you just learnt to speak and who is still struggling to control your bladder function as well as wor

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