ScienceBiscuit
There were dramatic scenes at a Stoke-on-Trent office block today after a 34-year-old accountant threatened to commit social networking suicide by closing his Facebook account.
Colleagues have described how they watched in horror as Derek Short, from Uttoxeter, Staffs, tried to access Suicidr, a controversial website that allows users to delete themselves from social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Myspace.
Brian Atkins, a 45 year-old telecommunications enginner from Watford, today shocked the internet community by announcing that his ham and pineapple pizza with a garlic bread accompanyment had been delivered to him successfully by Luigi’s Pizza and Kebabs, also from Watford.
A sixteen-year-old part-time assistant at PC World is the surprise winner of this year’s Nobel Prize for Physics. Joe Ward from Northampton was awarded the prize in recognition, say the Nobel Committee, ‘of his outstanding contribution to physics and computer science by correctly advising Mrs Ethel Knight, 62, of Northampton, on how to attach a mouse to a computer USB port’.
Mr Ward, who works at his local PC World at weekends, said he was ‘gob smacked’ on receiving the letter informing him of his success. ‘It was awesome,’ he told journalists. ‘I knew I’d done something pretty cool, but I didn’t think I had a chance of a Nobel Prize. But, looking back, I suppose it was pretty groundbreaking for a PC World guy to give out correct technical information.’
IPC magazines have pulled the December edition of Gadgetz magazine after the cover model remained un-aroused by the new Motorola ‘Palm Gateway’ device that she was holding provocatively throughout the photo shoot.
‘We can’t understand it’ remarked a bemused Jez Ritchey, Gadgetz editor ‘it’s a 3G phone/satnav/gaming device all in one sleek widescreen tablet; that sort of thing usually has our models in the throes of ecstasy.’
Parents everywhere were delighted today by the news that veterinarians have at last developed a form of the ever-popular Christmas gift, the dog, that won’t linger on into the New Year and beyond the festive period. The new ‘Live Fast, Die Young’ breed ages at the rate of seven dog years to one hour, so shoppers can rest assured that by the twelfth hour of Christmas their true love will be left with nothing more than fond memories and a freshly-dug mound of earth in the garden, or their money back
