top of page
Search
Despite mild criticism of UK politicians in recent days / weeks / months / years / centuries, PM Rishi Sunak denies that both the UK Chambers (and bastions) of democracy are in any way institutionally corrupt. a spokesperson for the PM, explained:-
“Use of the word ‘institutionally’ is unhelpful because it politicises what is really down to a few individual rotten apples.
"Yes I admit there have been isolated instances of illegal payments for lobbying. And sexual harassment. And photo-copier abuse. And bullying. And ignoring Covid lock-down rules and lying to Parliament. And religious bigotry. And awarding lucrative Covid contracts to chums without tendering. And anti-semitism. And using ‘imaginative’ tax-avoidance schemes. And sucking up to Russian oligarchs (and their money).
"But I don’t think we should concentrate on a few minor misdemeanours. What the public really wants to know is how I am making the UK great again. This is of course not easy after 12 years of Tory misrule – oops I meant challenging global trading conditions.
"However after the four previous lazy, deadbeat, incompetent, ‘economical with the truth’ and batshit incumbents, voters will hopefully realise the sunlit uplands are just around the corner”.
The unnamed Princess said: ‘I was in the Mos Eisley Cantina, minding my own business, and someone rohypnolled my caipirinha. The next thing, I’m being shanghaied- while the Modal Nodes play the 'Girl from Ipanema. Before I know it, I’m composing holographic ransom pleas, while wearing Danish pastries on the side of my head.
‘Annoyingly, I’m always cleaning out bits of sand from my slave outfit. And I just know they will soon be back - and in greater numbers.’
If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?
 |  |  |
bottom of page