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Archbishop caught with Poké Ball


A triumphant eight-year-old boy has become the first person to capture all Archbishops of Canterbury using his Pokémon Go skills and saucer of milk. The popular game sees people regularly rooting around storm drains and hedgerows for members of the clergy or spying their mitres poking out of a sauna.


There is a Catholic alternative - Papal-bull - ironically involving Priests trying to capture eight-year-old boys, but this is only available on 'Bad Apple' devices, with the App - iSpyWithMyLittlei™. Of course - Pokémon Go is one of the most successful augmented reality games, after Christianity itself - each culminating in an implausible and hard to reach endgame.

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Another dip in the NB archives


10,000BC, Patent for Ugg Boots filed by Caveman, Zogg.


1215. King accepts the Barons' terms for regulation of mediaeval alcohol in the Magners Charter of Runny Mead.


1789. Monster giveaway sale at Bastille leads to stampede, riots and regicide.


1815. British victory at Waterloo a devastating blow to Napoleon and to King George III, who thinks he's Napoleon.


1854. Famously tightfisted Alfred Tennyson complains again about high prices with "The Service Charge of the Light Brigade".


1914-1918. Great Powers collaborate in four-year cull of Europe's poet population.


1939. Europe fears retaliation after Horst Wessel song gets nul point in Eurovision.


1995. Argentina's oldest man, Don Adolfo Hitlerez, dies aged 106. He attributed his longevity to his famous "chewed carpet diet".


hat tip; sirlupus


Journalists struggling to find metaphors for RAAC crisis


Journalists are struggling to find metaphors to sum up the government's appalling handling of the ongoing RAAC crisis.


One leader writer for The Guardian commented, 'There's just nothing to work with, the government is crumbling over this thing, slowly deteriorating and falling apart and we just can't link it to this failing school infrastructure story. They're probably all pissed at another bring a bottle party'


While another reporter observed, 'We are literally racking our brains on coming up with zingers, I mean what do we know about Reinforced Autoclaved Aerated Concrete, we're not engineers who think they're funny.'


A colleague added, 'The Prime Minister has poor support and needs replacing, surely old construction material issues can be combined with that for a catchy one liner. It's so frustrating. '


After several cups of coffee and staring at his blank screen for two hours The Editor finally said: ' I know what about this as our front page? Super-Fragile-Bad-Logistics-Sunak-is-atrocious.'

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