'What's the matter, can't you take a joke, you English snowflakes? Or is it because English snowflakes usually come with a red St George's Cross tattoo-ed on them. We wouldn't want you looking stupid.'
'Also, you will lose your minds when you realise England's away kit isn't as white as you wish everyone in the country was.'
'Legally speaking, the red of the St George's cross should be dragon's blood, but as St George was a Turkish man (probably an immigrant) and dragons don't exist, this is tricky to pull off in a modern supply chain.'
'Who knows, maybe the England men's team will win a trophy in the age of colour television and this will matter.'
'After all, the Tories and Reform would never produce blue or purple versions of that flag. At least this will identify any full kit wanker MPs.'
Image: Newsbiscuit
While initially pleased to see her name trending on Twitter, the respected Emmy Award winner was appalled by the negative connotations that her surname was generating. It turns out ‘McCarthyism’ is not as zany or madcap as first thought and, if anything, is a real downer when it comes to lefties with pointy hats and a broom.
Her agent said: ‘Recently my client Googled her name and was shocked to discover its links to political skulduggery and Andrew O'Neill. Melissa would like it known that she has never blacklisted anyone or seen Libby Proctor dancing with the devil.'
Confusion over surname-isms is the primary reason why we see so few rom-coms starring Joe Nazi or Mary Beth Antidisestablishmentarian. In other news, the deceased Senator, Joe McCarthy, distanced himself from the film ‘The Happytime Murders’.
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