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Nike statement 'Sorry to all the English snowflakes we "offended" '

'What's the matter, can't you take a joke, you English snowflakes? Or is it because English snowflakes usually come with a red St George's Cross tattoo-ed on them. We wouldn't want you looking stupid.'

'Also, you will lose your minds when you realise England's away kit isn't as white as you wish everyone in the country was.'

'Legally speaking, the red of the St George's cross should be dragon's blood, but as St George was a Turkish man (probably an immigrant) and dragons don't exist, this is tricky to pull off in a modern supply chain.'

'Who knows, maybe the England men's team will win a trophy in the age of colour television and this will matter.'

'After all, the Tories and Reform would never produce blue or purple versions of that flag. At least this will identify any full kit wanker MPs.'

Image: Newsbiscuit

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