The government has reminded voters going to the polls on Thursday that not voting Conservative is technically a peaceful protest, and protesting peacefully has been outlawed under the Police, Crime, Sentencing and Courts Bill. 'We have ruled that peaceful protests are essentially a hate crime, just as black is white and Rwanda is completely safe,' said a government spokesman today.
'People attempting to enter polling stations with the intention of voting for candidates who are not Conservative will be turned away or arrested if suspected of thinking of glueing themselves to the voting booths,' added the spokesman. Voters will be checked for suitable documentation before being allowed to vote. Proof of identity, such as a Conservative membership card, will be checked.
‘ If potential voters don't have suitable ID’ said the spokesperson, ‘then we will take a rolled-up copy of that day's Daily Mail as evidence of reasonableness.’
Hat-tip Sinnick
