- Steveb
- Feb 10, 2025
Renowned provider of cosmic human centipedes and bum chains for satellites, SpaceX, has stunned breathers by announcing that it has invented the world's first cloaking device for air.
Before anyone could question why air needs to be cloaked, SpaceX deftly pivoted to pointing out that it has also acquired the global patent rights for The Unscheduled Rapid Disassembly, or TURD.
Founder of SpaceX, Melanie Husk, also claimed to have founded nose-picking, everything to the left of Bolivia, and probably you.
Image: Bru-nO - Pixabay
Britain's pound fell to what currency traders said was an "all-time low" yesterday evening when it turned up drunk to a party and started touching up its cousin, the Swedish krona.
"Sterling's been on a downward spiral for some time now, and it's been pretty sick," said one foreign exchange dealer, staring at his screens with an icky look on his face. "But it just hit rock bottom.
"Our currency is a disgrace, and I will never spend quids again," said the trader, primly. "Except on cocaine and strippers, of course."
Image: sergeitokmakov - Pixabay