Luton man loses house after accepting "Legitimate Interest" of fraudsters to steal it

A Luton man found that his house had been sold while he was working away from home, and all his belongings stripped from it, after carelessly accepting the 'legitimate interest' of a range of companies to meddle in his life.

“All I wanted to do was to use a website to book a holiday” said the man, “so when a popup asked me about 'legitimate interest',naturally I clicked OK. I mean, I thought that sounded legit - literally. Then I when I came back home I found the locks changed, my life’s belongings on ebay, and my house sold for £130k as ‘an attractive two bed property in a desirable suburb, albeit with some need for refurbishment’. How dare they!? Apart from my life being in tatters now, we repainted the bathroom only last year, what more do you want?”

“It’s quite simple” said Ms Arabella Fortescue, of You're Fortescued Property Retail. “As estate agents, we have a legitimate interest in anyone’s house, flat, maisonette or garden shed, so as soon as you click “OK” we’re in. Just like LoanShark Inc has a legitimate interest in this man's bank details, and Rupert the smooth-talking barman has a legitimate interest in his daughter’s phone number.”

While the man faces a struggle to re-orient his life now he is of no fixed abode, he can console himself that at least he is spared the trouble of dealing with the several thousand tonnes of sugary foodstuffs that are already on their way to his previous address, thanks to him agreeing to “accept all cookies”.

Image: PhotoMIX-Company | Pixabay

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Kevin's seeing stars as his next model project is out of this world

Fifty-nine year-old Kevin Philpott, a warehouse manager from Stoke, has just completed a project he started at aged seven when his Mum gave him an almost empty spool of sewing thread.

For that was all the inspiration he needed to see him on his way to build a totally accurate miniature model of Britain’s entire road system, with different colours and gauges of strings and threads used to illustrate minor, major, trunk roads and motorways.

‘People think it’s been a pointless exercise,’ said Kevin ‘but it hasn’t. The amount of pleasure this has given me over the years, coupled with my sense of incredible achievement now it’s completed, just can’t be bought.’

‘I’ve even had an email from Blue Peter inviting me onto the programme next week, and the Guinness people are coming tomorrow to assess whether my model is a record. But actually this is only the start for me.’

Because not content with his already remarkable achievements, Kevin now has set his sights even higher. His next project will see him attempt to render the entire Cosmos using a variety of materials such as grains of sand, sugar, rice, dried peas, ball bearings, ping-pong balls, tennis balls, footballs, beach balls and sticky-back plastic.

When asked if he foresaw any problems ahead he quipped: 'Well, let's put it this way. I think I'm maybe going to need a bigger bungalow.'

image pixabay/klikovam

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Isle of Wight closes airspace to Belarus

Following the banning of Belarusian aircraft by the European Union, the Isle of Wight has become the first area in the UK to align with the EU Bloc.

At County Hall in Newport, the department of transportation was unequivocal in its remarks against the country and its recent actions. "We agree with the EU's decision to suspend Belavia from their airspace. As of midnight, we have refused flight corridors across the Isle of Wight to any Belarusian-registered aircraft. We have the Isle of Wight Navy on standby at Cowes and our anti-aircraft defence shield in operation at Shanklin. Well, when I say navy I mean the sea scouts in their dinghies sailing round the harbour. And our defence shield is just big John standing on the beach with a bucket of rocks, but he can throw them really far! Like past the sandbank! It's impressive, honestly!"

In Minsk, news of the ban has not been taken lightly. "We see this move by the Isle of Wight as unacceptable," said a spokesperson for President Lukashenko. "As such, we have imposed sanctions by banning the sale of Isle of Wight Garlic or gifts from the Needles Sand Shop into the country. We shall not be blocked from our aircraft going…oh, it's only 22 miles across? That's ok, we'll just go around it."

image pixabay/lillolillolillo