Don't not believe anything unless you didn't read it on X

In a world where previously trusted news sources are being dismissed, ranging from the BBC to Angela from number 14, it is increasingly important that you verify and dismiss anything you read or hear.

'The evidence of your eyes is increasingly unreliable,' stated a spokesperson from Specsavers, 'and if what we've heard is true you can't believe anything you hear,' he added.  The sense of smell is overwhelmed and the sense of touch is over-rated.  'Don't put too much reliance on so-called common sense either,' said a man who claimed to hold the most reliable polling stats.  'Someone will win the by-election in Manchester,' he claimed, adding, 'but they will probably jump party, county and gender almost immediately,'

Consequently most people get their news from social media or, failing that, anti-social media previously known as X. Most don't believe what they read and the rest don't actually read.  Or can't, you choose.

This report has been fact checked by AI and found to be 100% accurate, so please ignore - but not before posting online.

www.newsbiscuit.com

Image: https://pixabay.com/users/lumpi-1425361/

NewsBiscuit Car Review: Kemi Torileda

The American influence is obvious, and a reliance on out of date thinking and an appeal to a narrowing market has a led to this mess. Multiple poor iterations have resulted in a massive loss of power with still extremely high running costs.

The current Torileda has a Kemi made block which only appeals to those who like to put their foot down.

It just doesn’t suit the current environment and is rejected by most European countries. It is ridiculous to think that cutting yourself off from an entire continental market and focusing on a small fan base would be good for long term profitability. To go with a platform that is hugely oil consuming and to dismiss renewable energy powered alternatives, could gift a whole market to China.

For a brand with a long history of success, things have fallen flat because of how wasteful they has been and just catering to the high-end market. This principle was big a few decades ago and they have now seemed to mainly rely on name recognition since then rather than any outstanding performance or innovation. The last few years saw multiple Torileda versions, each one with serious failings calling on multiple embarrassing recalls. The short-lived TR-SS edition was an absolute disaster. The latest version is a lot quieter and stable but still fairly unappealing.

When tested, the automatic response is predictable but doesn’t engage very well. This particular version has lost its traditional support and upcoming UK alternatives have more traction, which could be troubling.

Overall is has juddering, poor performance along with a shoddy reliability record.

Pros

Good for the oil industry

Could be beneficial if you are rich

Cons

Not very responsive and direction feels wobbly

Hated brand with poor support

An improvement, but still way out of touch ✭✩✩✩✩

Rats annoyed about being linked with billionaire scumbags

“Look, this has got to stop, we have a bad enough reputation as it is, but please stop linking us with awful elitist bellends just because of name similarity. We get it, we are associated with loads of awful stuff, our PR team is nowhere near as good as the squirrels.

Smell a rat? Dude….no need. Why can’t we have “Brave Whistle-blower Rat" rather than just rat out?

Even our skill set is mocked, we are really good swimmers and just being wet gets you classed as looking like a drowned rat. Just rude. If you are untrustworthy, do you get called a dirty vole? No, you don’t, it’s us again.

Even our efficient, prompt, sensible evacuation of a sinking sea vessel is somehow a bad trait.

We are the go-to animal for deceit, mess, and being sneaky. Do we even get credit for our ability to survive falls from great heights? Nope, cats get all the recognition for that one. We are fast and agile, how about a compliment for that? Our ability to run up drainpipes is not “panicking” it’s an admirable skill for crying out loud.

Put the word bag after our name and that means annoying, that is just weird. Anyway, we can deal with that, but we draw the line at being associated with Monaco based, tax avoiding billionaire shitehawks. Yes hawks, you’re not always majestic killing machines, welcome to our world.

Billionaires should be thrown to the rats….Goddammit.”

image form pixabay