eleaguered utility company Thames Water today announced its new slogan - "Let them drink cack".
"We feel it perfectly summarises both our contempt for the little people who pay for our vital infrastructure upgrades - alright, who pay to enrich our shareholders - and the practical consequences of that contempt ie the river being full of shit," said a spokesman today.
Industry experts said that, hard to believe though it may be, this isn't even the stupidest slogan adopted by a water company, the palm going to Severn Water's notorious "Bringing water to people who need it".
"Why do they even need a slogan?" asked marketing guru Daniel Seatwarmer. "If you live in that area, you get your water from them - you don't have a choice.
"God knows, after a career in marketing I'm not averse to taking money for old rope, but this seems bloody ridiculous even to me."
Meanwhile Thames Water told astonished reporters that, if anything, they feel they're too tightly regulated.
"Obviously it's great that we can pour raw sewage into the Thames. But it's annoying that we're still legally obliged to supply safe drinking water to people's homes. That's a potential cost saving we'll be looking at if the Tories get re-elected.
"Just a couple of tweaks to existing legislation and we can take people off mains water entirely, and pipe their sewage straight back to their kitchen taps. Recycling's good for the environment, right? Just think of the money saved - though not in the sense of lower bills for the plebs, obviously - and no more discharge into the Thames. Everybody wins!"
Image: AElliot - Pixabay
