A Reform candidate for the Welsh Sennedd elections has stood down after photographs of him throwing a Nazi salute and holding a comb over his top lip emerged. 'At first I was accused of imitating Hitler and I thought 'cool', Nigel will approve,' he said today. He decided imitating Hitler was OK as 'everybody I know does that, plus it didn't do Prince Harry any harm, did it?' However, it transpires that the media are comparing him to John Cleese. 'That's beyond the pale, eve

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'It took us by surprise,' said Nicola, the daughter of record breaker Jan, aged 73. 'During a family meal out my brothers and I had begun remembering our old next door neighbour, Tony, when, no sooner had we mentioned him, mum chimed in to tell us that he's dead now. Couldn't have taken her any longer than 20 seconds'. 'It was actually 12.6 seconds,' said Jan, who also holds the record for number of times a mum over Christmas has asked her son why he and his girlfriend haven'

'The US President says he wants peace but is sending 10,000 troops to the war zone,' said a perplexed spokes-skeleton for the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corpse. 'He says he's negotiating with an Iranian leader who calls the shots, but says his interlocutor will be shot if he's caught negotiating with him. 'And Trump says he wants to bomb all our energy plants and be Iran's worst nightmare, but then says he's kindly giving us 10 days before doing it. 'Is he saying all this to

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'I went into the war against Iran believing the regime's leaders would immediately bend to my will, because I'm omnipotent,' boasted a puffed up Donald Trump. 'Weeks went by and they still weren't 'crying uncle'. They were calling me a demented old fool. But all those Tomahawks and suchlike we fired off showed that I'm potent. 'Now Iran's closed the Strait of Hormuz, and I am totally powerless to get it open again without caving into all of its demands. 'So we'll be whittli

Despite having other fish frying, Russian despot Vladimir Putin, has been quick off the mark and becomes the first world leader to congratulate Will Smith, after the Men In Black star sensationally decked presenter Chris Rock live on stage at the Oscars ceremony. A Kremlin spokesman said: 'This is pure gold for Mr Putin. It has shown the world there is an even bigger twonk than he is. With such an ill-judged action in the full glare of the world's media, this mudak, Smith, ma

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Standing defiantly in their red, made in China hat, a MAGA political fanatic repeated some recently learned phrases about short/long term gainpain before rambling the following diatribe: 'I voted for new wars, higher prices, paying for tariffs and masked government officials shooting Americans. Trump said he was going to alienate us and undermine NATO, he said that, I voted for that, and now he is doing it. I really wanted a new war, really, really wanted billions of dollars

Mandy Thursday, also known as the Festival of St. Peter, has been celebrated in England since 1985, when Peter Mandelson was first appointed to a government post. That’s right – over 40 years ago! Mandy comes from the Latin word mandatum , meaning give me all your money. The Holy day is usually celebrated in London by the distribution of Mandy Money. Originally, Mandy Money was given out as special coins by the monarch, but more recently Mandy Money has been handed out as

Molecules of oil sucked out of the ground last November, shipped over the Christmas weeks and converted into various grades of petroleum, diesel, aviation fuel, heating oil, tar and various other grades, all stored and paid for several weeks ago have suddenly become very expensive molecules of oil. The fuel in your car petrol tank and your heating oil storage tank, paid for at the pump or via your heating oil supplier won't be hit for additional cost because the industry hasn

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