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An inflation busting rise to the license fee was deemed necessary, as Mr Lineker has increased his crisp consumption ten fold. Despite cutbacks to the service, costs have spiralled to maintain his lavish taste in ear muffs and to keep Alan Shearer in silk stockings.
Notoriously the BBC's highest earner, he has exclusive use of the secret helipad in the Blue Peter garden.
Executives admit to supplying the TV star with unlimited Teletubbies and his own private access to David Attenborough.
Half of all programming now features Mr. Lineker's smug face. but only those with wide-screen can see his lugs. Viewers have accused iPlayer of exposing us to too much of Mr. Lineker, just like his shorts throughout the 1980s.
All of the judges on the BBC show, Strictly Come Dancing, have quit, for medical reasons.
A number of contestants have already left the show this year for various medical reasons. Sometimes these are medical reasons, to do with injuries, or simply for the publicity.
All of the judges have left the show at the same time, citing the negative impact on their mental health, along with the effects of too much noise and over-exposure to bright lights, flashing lights and sequins.
The BBC have confirmed that the departure of all the judges will not affect the competition. A spokesman said that the show would continue in line with the agreed scripts and that the outcome of the 2023 competition will not be affected. The spokesman also denied media reports that future shows would be judged by an AI called AutoLen7.
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