- Throngsman
- Jan 18, 2023
A BBC spokesman has admitted that some news items may have become 'lost'. 'We had them, on a piece of paper on a desk somewhere, but we just can't find them,' he said.
The spokesman said that he recalled something about a conservative peer allegedly siphoning off a shed load of money for procuring inadequate PPE, something else about a VIP lane company run by a conservative donor being paid to procure a shed load of inadequate PPE and then being paid to incinerate it. He also had a recollection that a senior conservative MP who had held and continues to hold senior positions in the government who had denied owing HMRC lots of money last summer and then, after a successful investigation by HMRC, deciding to pay an eye watering amount of unpaid taxes that historically have been accompanied with a jail sentence.
'We do have a lot of news about the weather, so we've filled the front page with news about snow in case nobody noticed; and there's still lots of news about Harry and Meghan. And the unions blackmailing the country. Buggered if I know where the other news went, though,' he said, uploading another photo of a town covered in a dusting of snow.
Image: philriley427 | Pixabay
Ben: pictured here in happier times
Kiddies TV favourite, Ben the Flowerpot Man, one half of iconic showbiz duo, Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men, has stunned BBC top brass by going missing just days before their new series is to air.
We're all gutted,' said one insider. 'We've ploughed a lot of money and hard graft into the new show, and now we've had to pull their appearance on BBC Breakfast tomorrow. It's a choker.'
Newsbiscuit understands the troubled star had been "down in the dumps" on the set recently. Speaking to reporters this evening and visibly shaken, co-star Bill said: 'Uddap buddap slobbadap. Buddap buddap pobbledap.' before being led away in tears, clearly too distraught to carry on.
Little Weed, longtime girlfriend to both stars, something that has led to rumours of all the three living in an open relationship, has yet to break her silence.
But in a long showbiz career this isn't the first time the terracotta twosome have hit the headlines. Many may remember, back in the seventies they were detained at Heathrow for being in possession of four bags of John Innes Potting Compost after getting off a flight from Ibiza.