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Recent excitement about seeing an Englishman going out in the midday sun, was in itself remarkable not only because of the unusual appearance of the sun at this time of year, but more particularly that it appeared at noon, has now been eclipsed, as the Nations lungs were almost overfilled of breath intakes, there suddenly appeared this mans wife.


As shock waves rippled through communities across the nation, even Mr & Mrs Tombony at no 17 were inspired to but the milk bottles out together, before it got dark.


Ladies who used to walk the dog in the park, have now been seen walking their husbands, whilst the dog stares wistfully through the net curtains at home.


BBC have announced a rebranding of a popular series, now to be called “A Man and his Wife” in an effort to boost flagging Licence fees.


Terms like “a couple” have been trending although scholars have been scrolling through parchments and dictionaries to see if there are historically any connection to other interpretation of that particular described activity.


A palace Spokesman said “One would prefer not to comment about the term Couple, as it could mean “one” then another “one” , but he would not go so far as to say it implied in any way that “One” was giving the other “One” One, (as it were ), and hopefully not in public.


image by Grok



It is being called the battle of the Charlies. The royal household has invited Charles Earl Spencer to meet King Charles “man to man” in a boxing ring in front of Buckingham Palace – or should that be ‘Boxingham’ Palace – “to thrash this thing out once and for all”.


The highly unusual announcement by the Palace, and the language used, shows the strength of feeling there is on both sides. It comes as the royal family braces itself for more revelations in Earl Spencer’s book about his sister Diana, Princess of Wales. The book, Swan Song My Sister Diana, is published on Tuesday, though photocopies are widely available from Windsor services on the M4, or wherever you find your pirated material.


When the King’s equerries suggested the bout the King’s face apparently lit up “like he’d won the lottery”. He reportedly said: “Boxing? What, you mean like Rocky? Good oh! Can we get some steps like in Philadelphia. I can do the speech.” And he raised he fists and began to channel Sylvester Stallone. “The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It will beat one to one’s’ knees and keep one there if one lets it. But it ain't about how hard one hits; it's about how hard one can get hit and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!” His staff, mindful of a forthcoming pay review, applauded wildly.


New revelations in the book include Diana’s affair with Paul Weller, who wrote the song My English Rose for her and Diana auditioning to be a Bond girl. TV presenter Dermot O’Leary provided commentary at the secret weigh-in, believed to have taken place in the gardens at Highgrove, which some felt gave the King an advantage.


The presenter said: “Ladies and gentlemen, in the left hand corner, all the way from Althorp, Northamptonshire, please welcome Charlie ‘Big Boy’ Windsor! And in the right hand corner, you know the face, give me an H, give me an R, give me an H again, yes and pass the Duchy on the left hand side, please welcome Charlie HRH aka the King!”


Tickets to the bout – date to be confirmed – begin at £5000 and are available from Pall Mall Productions, a Camilla Parker Bowles company.


One piece of good news between the warring factions: they have agreed to split the proceeds of the match down the middle, though the King is already muttering about the gutters needing doing and “maybe 70-30 would be a fairer split. And besides, this Spencer chap is soon to be forgotten, like his sister”.





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