Palace reassure public, "Queen booed PM from home"

Buckingham Palace had issued a statement saying that although the Queen had to miss the thanksgiving service for her reign, she was able to watch the service on television and joined in with the booing of Boris Johnson.

"The Queen is somewhat restricted in what official duties she can do", explained a spokesman, "But she's very clear that she can make time to kiss hands with his successor 'anytime'".

Buckingham Palace Square Statue - Free photo on Pixabay

First published 5 June 2022

www.newsbiscuit.com

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Sir Keir Starmer to unveil new upgraded State Visit Package – Gold Edition

For those frequent State Visit clients, why not upgrade your experience to create unforgettable memories in a haven of refined elegance and sycophantic obedience?

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Queen renamed to end confusion

With social media once again confused at Buckingham Palace's reports of the Queen's health, news organisations have agreed with the royal household to use updated terminology to stop people confusing Camilla for Elizabeth II.

'This is why we initially wanted to call Camilla the Queen Consort,' said Emily Double-barrelled, Royal Correspondent for the Daily Express. 'Sadly, that got vetoed and it left us at a bit of a loss. The crown also rejected our other suggestions of 'The Queen, no not that one', 'The King's Second Wife', or the slightly too long 'The Queen, but it should have been Diana, she's the real queen of hearts.'

In a statement, The King's private secretary gave clarification on the new acceptable nomenclature, telling us, 'We understand the confusion and that, after 70 years of Queen Elizabeth as monarch, old habits - much like her - die hard. Looking back on recent history, we had Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, and Mary as Dowager Queen. With those in mind, and following discussions with their Majesties, I'm pleased to announce that henceforth - due to the way she came to her title - Queen Camilla is to be known as The Queen's Gambit.'

Image credit: Wix AI