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Chinese authorities have confirmed that a spy, operating at the heart of British government, has breached the highest levels of security and poses a clear and present danger to the nation.


A senior Chinese official confirmed, 'We have identified the spy in question and name her as Liz Truss. She has infiltrated UK politics and has done more damage to Britain than any other subversive individual in history. Working together with another as yet unnamed operative, she destroyed the UK economy in an astonishingly short period of time.


'Although she has close links to Chinese pork markets, she is not actually a Chinese spy on our hidden books. She has, however, single-handedly done more damage to one of our enemies than our entire clandestine community in its entire history of operation. For that, we wish to award her our highest honour: the Chinese medal of meddling.'



A year after several solar systems were destroyed by a Death Star, China has called on freedom fighters to enter into peace talks with the Empire. China has denied using peace talks as a delaying tactic while it builds a clone army.


Rebels are under increasing pressure to negotiate as their supply of weapons run low. Things are so bad that Jedi warriors have taken to greeting each other with the words ‘may the turnip be with you.’


A spokesperson for the UK government said: ‘Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to a bounce in the polls.’




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