- Lockjaw
- Apr 6, 2024
It is a cold and wet night in the Bigg Market, but that does not deter Geordie 'lads' from strutting in their T-shirts. Displaying on their chests 'Toon', 'Tits oot', and ' Top Sh@gger'.
Likewise, the 'lasses' parade in short tight skirts, almost displaying their reproductive organs.
The males exchange their calls of approval: 'bonny', 'fit', 'stacked', and 'gagging fer it'.
Any contact between the sexes will take place later in the evening after they have visited the many watering holes in the area, where everyone will get 'tanked oop'. Perhaps they may exchange conversation in the bars where deafening music plays. Using such phrase as 'are you up for it?', 'I'm gagging for it', and the age old 'you don't sweat much for a fat bird'.
Sadly, many of the encounters will not fulfill the desired coition. Many will be passed out on the pavement or 'howking their guts up' by the bins.
Next week, we witness a 'punch up' between rival gangs out side a club in Swansea.
Image: 3345557 - Pixabay
A rescue plane was forced to return to Khartoum today after a group of rowdy drunken Brits harassed fellow passengers, sang the national anthem while standing on seats, and punched a flight attendant. The Hercules transport had already been delayed because a passenger insisted on ‘nipping out’ for fags on learning the duty free shop had been shelled.
An RAF spokesperson said: ‘We can confirm that our Hercules transport made an emergency landing in a war zone because that was preferable to continuing with a cargo of Brits. They sang the tune to The Great Escape in front of German passengers and tried to open the doors at 30,000 feet.’
Ryanair has confirmed that a fleet of its planes have arrived in Khartoum to help with the rescue operation. Thousands who were fleeing the conflict have decided to stay and take their chances.