top of page
Search

Hanging chads and an ear miss



The Milky Way

Vega Edition

Sunday, 8th August 2027

still only V$35,000



We lament the passing of our near neighbours of Earth. It is by fine margins that civilisations fall and worlds collapse. Not so much a democratic planet, as one ruled in part by a leader of their 'free' world, yet elected by only one nation of many.


In the Earth Year 2000, a vote recount in the State of Florida saw great debate over whether hanging, fat, and pregnant 'chads' should be counted on punched ballot cards. Dubious inconsistency in that thinking, coupled with dubious inconsistency in what amounts to a 'popular vote', allowed a candidate by the name of Bush to slip past another called Gore into the Presidency of America by the narrowest of margins. The outcome was that a 'drill it 'n pump it' mentality to their planetary rock prevailed, rather than a 'let's look after our only home' attitude.


24 Earth Years later, a bullet grazed the ear of a reckless destroyer and the fate of humans was sealed. Indeed, the disappearance of all life turned the once blue-green globe to the orange-brown ball of fire we gaze upon this night with great pity.


Such beauty lost to such ugly mismanagement. RIP, dear Earth.



Picture credit: The Milky Way, Vega Editon. And Wix AI.

Beach pebble amnesty goes horribly wrong



It seemed a good idea. Many people who visit Chesil Beach take home a pebble or two as a souvenir. Over time this significantly weakens the flood defences and threatens the local habitat. So the Environment Agency offered an amnesty to anyone returning pebbles to the beach, telling them that there would be no fines or further action.


What actually happened was a nightmare.


A spokesman said, 'We’ve had lorryloads of rubble dumped on Chesil Beach. Most of the stones were not from Chesil Beach in the first place, and the brickwork, reinforced concrete, asbestos and steel girders definitely didn’t originate from here.'


The member staff who came up with the scheme has been redeployed to Chesil Beach and will stay there until he has cleared up the mess. He will also have to repay a staff suggestion scheme award of £50.


bottom of page