Further privileges granted to nose stud wearing Lewis Hamilton

In keeping with the recently granted nose stud privilege, like that given in liberal sixth-forms, Lewis Hamilton is also to be allowed to put up one poster of his choice in the Formula 1 common room. He will be allowed to use the kettle to make hot drinks provided he washes his mug up at the end of the day, pays into the milk kitty on a regular basis, and takes the tea towel home to be washed when the rota says it's his turn.

He’ll also be allowed to leave the Formula 1 site at lunch time to visit the local shop and buy a Slush Puppie and some sweets but if he’s late back for afternoon Formula 1 this will be revoked.

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/1yanthon2-10145134/

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Mad Max says ‘fair racing’ rules still not clear

After an hour-long driver briefing, during which road warriors aired their concerns about current race standards, title rivals Mad Max and Immortal Joe said it was still “not clear” what was acceptable when racing for survival in a post-apocalyptic, stark desert wasteland.

Events were precipitated last weekend. With several drivers swinging through the air in pole position, and flame-throwers, explosive tipped spears, and various forms of tyre slashing device nicely decimating the field, there was a coming together near the end with both Max and Joe claiming the racing line. At that point the safety car would normally have been deployed if only it hadn’t been totalled the race before.

Both drivers now agree the only solution is a winner-takes-all death race, and they both go out with all guns blazing. Formula One officials are said to be following proceedings with interest. As one F1 aficionado commented, “Excitement we can only dream of.”

Image from pixabay

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