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A number of dishonest and/or misguided people have claimed that the land-for-peace deal being forced on Ukraine by Trump and Putin is nothing at all like the appeasement of Hitler by allowing him to occupy the Sudetenland in 1938.


They also claim that giving Putin exactly what he wants definitely won’t encourage him use force to take other territory he wants in future.


“Just look at what happened back then,” said Steve Putz of the Centre for Culpable Gullibility. “Hitler said thanks very much for the Sudetenland, and then left the rest of the world in peace, just as he’d promised.


”And I’m sure exactly the same will happen with Putin. You only have to look at how we let him get away with annexing the Crimea in 2014, and he then came back and invaded more of Ukraine a few years later, to realise he’d never do exactly the same thing again.”


His statement was interrupted by the news that Putin had torn up the ceasefire and used his new territory to launch a direct attack on Kyiv.


“You know, now that I think of it, Hitler did invade the rest of Czechoslovakia and then Poland before we finally took our heads out of the sand and realised who he was,” said Putz. “So I suppose it’s just possible Putin will invade the rest of Ukraine and then… well, Poland again, I guess. They really get the shitty end of the stick, don’t they?”




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The Cambridge Dictionary people have decided to add the work skibidi to their dictionary. They define skibidi as ‘a word that can have different meanings, such as 'cool' or 'bad', or can be used with no real meaning as a joke’.


As the word is currently most popular with under-21’s, we’ve decided to see if we can broaden its appeal.  Here is our skibidi take on the peace negotiations between Russia and Ukraine:


Skibidi president, Donald Trump, is negotiating a skibidi deal with skibidi Russian president Vladimir Putin. A skibidi ceasefire has been proposed, although skibidi Russian forces continue to bomb the skibidi out of Ukraine, aiming to take out their skibidi civilian population and buildings. Straight out of Benjamin skibidi Netanyahu’s playbook.


European leaders have had their own skibidi discussions, and although they don’t have a plan, they do have a skibidi position - which is to moan and bitch at Donald skibidi Trump - but in a very positive and supportive way. The European leaders are worried that if they upset the skibidi president, he will impose more skibidi tariffs and their efforts will all be in the skibidi toilet.


So, as you can see, skibidi is a very useful word and its use can dramatically increase effective communication of the whole skibidi shooting match. Pun intended.


The only problem that we can foresee is that if everyone starts using the word skibidi a lot – including older folk – then the skibidi kids will drop it like a hot potato, and come up with some other new words to make them feel special and different.  And next time they might not let on what those words are.


Shocked face emoji, Skull emoji. Aubergine emoji. Have I got that last one right?




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The re-launch of BBC’s flagship football show featured, just for a change, Alan Shearer rambling on and on and on about Newcastle.


Despite being the last game on due to it being a drab 0-0, Alan Shearer presented a lengthy analysis of Newcastle’s apparently majestic performance despite their centre-forward crisis. Their equally unimpressive opponents Aston Villa barely warranted a mention.


On the other hand, Sunderland’s comprehensive win was entirely down to West Ham being, technically speaking, no good.


There was hope amongst football fans everywhere that, following Gary Lineker’s enforced resignation, the programme would be less dull. Those hopes were not exactly raised when it was announced that the so-called Rooney Rule would be applied.


In American Football, the Rooney Rule means equal opportunities for ethnic minorities. In the case of Match of the Day however, it means equal opportunities for thick scousers who have terrible records as lower league managers. But Alan Shearer somehow succeeded in making Wayne Rooney sound insightful and interesting.


If the first programme of the new season is indicative of the standard to be expected every week, we can all look forward to the same old Match of the Day that we are so familiar with.




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