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Emmanuel Macron, star of such erotic films as Emmanuelle, Emmanuelle The Joys of a Woman, Goodbye Emmanuelle, Emmanuelle 4, 5, 6 and 7, has been re-elected President of France. As a re-elected President, Macron may now style himself as 'Le Grande Fromage'.
His opponent was Marine Le Pen and there was general relief among non-racists everywhere that Le Pen proved not to be mightier than anything. She did remember to hide her racist light under a racist bushel for most of her campaign, with slogans such as 'I'm not racist (wink)', 'OK fine, I’m not as racist (as my dad)' and 'Let’s paint the Eiffel Tower white'. A spokesman for Le Pen said ‘France for the French – oh, how did that suitcase full of rubles get there? I guess we’ll never know.’
Updated: Jan 9, 2022
The continuing spat between the UK and France over fishing rights escalated yesterday after a French vessel was detained and its crew arrested. The 40ft trawler, ‘La Colope Coquine’, had reportedly anchored just off ‘The Only Plaice In Town’, a fish and chip takeaway on Bridlington High Street.
The takeaway’s owner, Ted Ruskin, told us,'A couple of their guys just started fishing around in my fryer. That’s taking a liberte that is.' However, the trawler’s skipper said they were perfectly within their rights to be there as they had a licence to fish for cod, haddock and scampi. He admitted they did net some British sausage but threw it back in as it was far too small.'
The last word to Mr Ruskin who commented, 'I’ll say one thing for the French. They love a good scrap.'
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