top of page
Search

The Ghislaine Maxwell revelations in full - world exclusive!


What, you want to read them again?


Oh OK, then, here goes.


Still not satisfied?


Well she did refer to the Fifth rather a lot.  Probably asked for a glass of water and a pardon.  Which, given the amount of dirt she didn't spread, is probably in the post.  The pardon that is, not the water.  She almost certainly didn't drink the water anyway once she'd thought about it given Epstein managed to hang himself with paper towels while the CCTV was off.


For those with short memories, here's the revelations one last time.


image from pixabay

Fears of conspiracy theories following Maxwell’s suicide

The US Department of Justice has issued a statement saying they “don’t want to hear a whole load of conspiracy theories” after Ghislaine Maxwell commits suicide this weekend.


“I know what you people are like - you go on the internet, find a blogpost casting doubt on the official version of events, and the whole thing spirals from there.


“But I don’t want to see that happening this weekend after Ghislaine Maxwell’s found dead in her cell. It’s suicide, plain and simple… or will be, I should say. So don’t go getting yourselves and other people all worked up over nothing.”


The spokesman went on to complain he told them not to do it at the weekend, as people just have too much free time to gossip and speculate, but no one listens to him.


Asked whether the whole thing wasn’t just a bit too much like Jeffrey Epstein, he replied “No, not at all - this time we’ll get the ligature marks at the right angle.”


image from pixabay


Jeffrey Epstein’s amazing memory

A close associate of convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein has been talking about his amazing memory.


She claims that Epstein had a photographic memory and never, for example, made a shopping list. ‘He’d remember everything. If he needed 101 things from the supermarket, he’d remember them all and wouldn’t forget a single thing. It was amazing.


‘He didn’t have an address book, because he could remember all the names and all the addresses, He’d do the Christmas cards himself, by hand, addressing all the envelopes from memory, without hesitation. He could remember all his friends’ birthdays and their anniversaries. And he’d remember the birthdays of all their kids, and how old they were. Jeffrey never forgot an eighteenth birthday.


‘His astonishing memory meant that he didn’t need to keep any contacts in his mobile phone. You could give him any name, and he’d just dial their number from memory. It was his party trick. He’d borrow someone’s phone and dial a number from memory – Donald Trump, Prince Andrew, whoever. The girls all loved it when he did that.


‘The news coverage about the so-called Epstein List makes me laugh. He would never have had a list. He would never have needed one. Never in a million years. He remembered it all in his head. No address book, no phone contacts – of course not!  He didn’t even keep his call history – he said that would be cheating.  He thought people would doubt his unbelievable memory if he kept any kind of records, so he didn’t.


‘So when Ghislaine Maxwell says that there was no Epstein List, I’m thinking ‘damn right there’s no list’.  Jeffery should have left his brain to science. Then the boffins could have worked out what made him so special.‘



bottom of page