top of page

After news that the Tory party had a secret lockdown Christmas party last year, new allegations have surfaced that they spent the summer of 2020 organising illegal raves across the Oxfordshire countryside.


Leaked emails show that prominent members of the Conservative Party met up at Oxford Welcome Break Services on the M40 and drove to a big field where a performance stage and a huge marquee were set up. A convoy of chauffeur driven Bentleys, Rolls Royces and Mercedes drove around the countryside waiting for directions to be texted from the organisers, whilst the same time, avoiding the Feds.


An insider told us, 'Herbal teas, canapés, caviar and a selection of illegal drugs were consumed as leading Tories held a Summer of Gove, sorry Love, writhing naked to the banging sounds of DJ Duncan Smith.'


A spokesman for Jacob Rees Mogg told Newsbiscuit, "These allegations are totally unfounded. Jacob has never danced half naked with his tie tied around his head, strumming a guitar on the bonnet of his Siver Wraith."


The Metropolitan Police will not be investigating, as it happened in the past, but they have completed a minority report.







the Metropolitan Police investigates the extent of drug abuse in the House of Commons, the government has responded by asking Michael Gove if he could be the one of the faces of its new anti-drug programme, preferably both.


'Michael will level up the country and ensure that everyone has the same access to the class A drug,' said a government spokesman. Some politicians suggest that drug use is possibly the only explanation for the way the country is being run. 'It couldn't make it worse,' said one politician today.






bottom of page